Bizbonics

The biggest threat to the English Language is not from hip-hop, Rastafarians, or Tex-Mex slang.  No, these dialects are the fertile soil in which our living language continues to thrive and grow.  

The real threat comes from Bizbonics, a patois originating in corporate conference rooms, illuminated only by cast-off light from PowerPoint presentations, a grammatical twilight zone in which nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverb, and gerunds are indistinguishable; without structure or form, the language is rendered a formless word-blob.

• In bizbonics, one doesn’t respond to a request, but to an ‘ask’.
• One does not have a conversation or a chat; one has a dialogue (n), in which one dialogues (v).
• We don't learn lessons; we learn ‘learnings’
• Campaigns don't have a Cost; but have a ‘spend’ 
• And these campaigns don't hope to communicate; but to 'message'
• If one is generous, one doesn't give to a charity; we 'gift'

Lie Down Sally

Do we confuse our pets when—instead of telling them to lie down—we use the transitive form, and tell them to ‘lay’ down, without specifying exactly what it is we want them to lay down? 

I’m still waiting to hear back from Clapton on this one.  {;-)

What's the 'ask' here?

Among the most common differences between standard English and Bizbonics is that the barrier between nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, gerunds, etc. is completely broken down.  One may have a 'visioning' process, in which a team dialogues about the asks, in order to come to a set of learnings ... or some such crap.  It just grates on the nerves to hear this distortion of clear speech. 

Make Your Moot Points Quietly

When one asserts that another has made a 'mute point', is that a request that they make it again, more audibly?  Because sometimes people don't speak up in meetings. 
Of course there's no reason to do that if the point is moot.