Pronouncing 'Jaguar'

Seven years in California taught me (eventually – the hard way) to not correct people's pronunciation of their home towns; I learned to just quietly grit my teeth, and let it go.  

And I have the good sense to not mess with Texans about what happens to the last syllable of that Big River that separates their state from Mexico, when Anglo-Texans pronounce it.  I just don't reckon they'd take all that kindly to it. 

But I've got to draw the line with the NFL.  Whether Jacksonville's team is meant as a tribute to a South American wildcat (JAG-wahr), or a British automobile (JAG-you-AHR), their is no precedent, and no reason for why they would call the team the 'JAG-wires'.  

That is all ... You're Welcome!  

Without Further Ado

I would nominate ‘Without further ado’, for inclusion in the list of most useless phrases in the English language.  It essentially says, “I am done talking, am about to introduce the speaker you are actually here for, and have no imagination.”

Of those three clauses, the audience is likely grateful for the first, well aware of the second, and (depending upon how long the introduction has taken) may already share a consensus on the third. 

It would be as useful, and less trite, to simply pause for the two seconds otherwise wasted on that phrase, scan the audience as it collects itself, then move on to the introduction. 

Verbal Pauses

Including verbal pauses (e.g. ‘uh’, ‘um’, ‘like’, ‘you know’) as you speak is like adding dandelions to a flower bouquet; if you have just a few, it might make a nice accent, but if you keep adding more, after a while, they take over, and it's all you can see.  

RSVP

Here’s a timely reminder as we send and accept invitations to holiday gatherings.   

The French language lends itself to good manners – some of which we borrow.  When we invite somebody to an event, and we want to know who’ll be there, we often end the invitation with ‘RSVP’- an abbreviated form of ‘répondez, s’il vous plait’.  Loosely translated, this is ‘Respond, if you please’, or just ‘Please respond’. 

Because they’re polite—or perhaps formal—French people often finalize any type of request with ‘S’il vous plait’; it’s just good manners.  In writing, they will often abbreviate it ‘SVP’ – but it still just essentially means ‘please’. 

So, when we respond to an invitation, we are not really ‘RSVP-ing’, since we’re not requesting anything … we’re just ‘R-ing’. 

What’s that?  Oh, of course … you’re welcome.  

Less Than a Few

The sign over the express checkout lane at the store near my daughter’s high school says it’s intended for ’12 items or fewer’. 

My heart sings every time I see that sign – even if I have 14 items, and need to use a different line. 

The difference in usage between ‘less than …’ and ‘fewer than…’ is not rocket science; it can be learned in ten seconds, and retained for a lifetime.  It would be great if we decided as a society to preserve this distinction, before it dissolves into the muddled word soup of our increasingly mushy language. 

If you are comparing ‘How MUCH of something two people have; one has more, the other less. 
If you are comparing ‘how MANY’ of something two people have; one has more, the other fewer.  

If you can count them, the word for the smaller quantity is ‘fewer’.  FEWER pint glasses at a table probably means LESS beer will be consumed.  (This is a helpful way for me to remember this).   

There.  Now get offa my lawn! 

Bizbonics

The biggest threat to the English Language is not from hip-hop, Rastafarians, or Tex-Mex slang.  No, these dialects are the fertile soil in which our living language continues to thrive and grow.  

The real threat comes from Bizbonics, a patois originating in corporate conference rooms, illuminated only by cast-off light from PowerPoint presentations, a grammatical twilight zone in which nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverb, and gerunds are indistinguishable; without structure or form, the language is rendered a formless word-blob.

• In bizbonics, one doesn’t respond to a request, but to an ‘ask’.
• One does not have a conversation or a chat; one has a dialogue (n), in which one dialogues (v).
• We don't learn lessons; we learn ‘learnings’
• Campaigns don't have a Cost; but have a ‘spend’ 
• And these campaigns don't hope to communicate; but to 'message'
• If one is generous, one doesn't give to a charity; we 'gift'

Lie Down Sally

Do we confuse our pets when—instead of telling them to lie down—we use the transitive form, and tell them to ‘lay’ down, without specifying exactly what it is we want them to lay down? 

I’m still waiting to hear back from Clapton on this one.  {;-)